Time To Stop Playing
by Profilore
Summary: This is for Dreamwidth kink meme, inspired by Rufftoon's "Old Hills" comic. What if, just as the Guardians have been told they're getting a new member, Jack has decided that he's had enough?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: nothing is mine. Not getting paid for this.

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\- If there's something I'm doing wrong…

He was breathing heavily, trying, but failing to hold back the bitter hurt this time. He loved Jamie, really, he did. He didn't mind that the Tooth fairy meant so much to him. But to be shoved aside, just like that? The stupid fairy wasn't aware of Jamie's life, she wasn't there playing with him, making every moment count. Most likely, she didn't even know his name.

\- Can you…

Ok, he could live with being second best. It didn't matter that much to him. All he ever wanted was to play with the kids, to make them happy. If, at the end of the day, they left him and disappeared into their warm homes, and thoughts of the guardians of childhood comforted them at night, he wouldn't mind. He didn't want to take anyone's place. He just wanted to have his own.

\- Can you just… tell me, what it is? Because I've tried everything…

This was, kind of, a problem of its own. He was overstepping boundaries, becoming more desperate lately. He let himself go, because holding back was becoming impossible. Make a kid sled through traffic, throw him into a snow bank, then fail to see the upcoming heavy object moving at high speed? He was lucky it was a sofa and not an out of control truck. He was sick and tired of trying the same tricks over and over, and lying to himself that this time something might be different.

\- But no one ever sees me…

He tried not to give in to despair. He was usually a cheerful person, full of live and passion for his work. But it's hard to spend day after day, night after night, for centuries giving his all to the entertainment and happiness of people, who would never notice him, never look him in the eyes. It was hard to see that others, who had everything a spirit could wish for, didn't even appreciate it. Jack never could understand the guardians' strange behavior. Why didn't they show themselves to the children? Didn't they love them? When you love someone, don't you wish you could spend every minute of your time with them? Jack certainly did.

\- You put me here! The least you can do is tell me… tell me why?!

He was just so tired of wandering in the dark, he was pretty much ready to admit that he didn't have a purpose at all. Aside from being a nuisance for others, maybe. In his first years, Jack found out pretty quickly that he was not needed for winter to come. He couldn't be everywhere, anyway, or ever in two places at once, and snow would still fall when the time was right. He was something of a personification of winter, but not winter in its entirety. Just the unnecessary, unpredictable, fun part. And so, if bringing joy to children wasn't his job, then, what was? Jack didn't know. And that hurt the most.

Looking at the moon in the last, hopeless effort to make it answer, Jack let the tears fall. It wasn't the first time he cried over being unseen, not at all, but it was the first time he let the moon see the depth of his sorrow. He was just too tired to pretend any longer.

The moon stayed silent and still, nothing showed the kind of change Jack waited and longed for. His plea, however desperate, went unanswered once more.

Jack felt the weight of his pain dragging him down, and it didn't matter that he was so light the wind could lift him anytime it wanted. He felt so heavy that he had to sit down, and he did. His head fell into his hands, his chest heaving with sobs. He knew that this is the end, here. He had no hope in him, no will to get back up. No fond memories to hold on to, when the present became too lonely, because he had none. No nice dreams of the future, or even beautiful night visions for him, because the Dreamweaver was too busy to stop by every time he slept, and Jack's own dreams could never be called nice. Even the wonder of playing with children, the only happiness he had in a long time, was tainted with a whole knot of dark, twisted emotions, like hurt and jealousy, envy and guilt.

A long time ago, when he first understood the extent of his isolation, when he found out that other spirits had believers, and jobs, and a place in the world to call their own, he was upset, of course. But he wasn't yet broken. He was naïve at the time, and so full of hope it hurt him to even remember now. He made an oath, then, to the Moon, and, more importantly, to himself. He would do the best he could with what he had, not complaining, not slacking off. He would protect all the children, and give them as much happiness as at all possible, because he loves them so much. And he would not stop until the day he died.

Now, it was time to stop playing games.


	2. Chapter 2

Sorry for the loooong wait. I didn't have inspiration enough for this kind of angst. You have to be super depressed sor that XD

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Bunny was horrified. No other word for it. He came to Burgess sure of himself and his motives, ready to kidnap the frosty nuisance, but when he found him, he felt something very cold drop in his stomach.

Frost didn't even notice him, or if he did, he wasn't paying him any attention. He lay on the slanted rooftop, eyes closed, palms folded under his head. He was just as thin and ragged-looking as the last time Bunny had seen him, but that wasn't what had the old rabbit so shocked.

He was see-through.

From where he stood a dozen feet away, Bunny could see it clearly, and the realization of what was happening, of what he would have to witness, knocked his breath away.

Bunny wanted to stop it. He knew that, when the fading's started there's little to be done, but he couldn't just stand there and watch mutely, damn it! He had to try something, to talk to him. But the words somehow got stuck halfway to his mouth, and all he said was:

\- Frost… You're…

Jack was going. He felt slightly numb already, as if some of his pain was being slowly washed away. He took a deep breath and thought about what was ahead. Did spirits have an afterlife, or did they just disappear without a trace? He found he preferred the second option. He wasn't afraid of losing his self, as he had no value to anyone, himself least of all. If there was an afterlife, he would be just as alone there, because no one was waiting for him there. No family, or friends, or lovers. Better to be erased completely from existence then suffer this any longer.

Then he heard a voice. A hallucination, he thought at first, as there had not been a spirit in vicinity just a minute ago. Or danger. That idea made him open his eyes, blinking tiredly, even though he didn't care what would happen to him just then, by the force of habit.

He looked up at Bunnymund, now sitting crouched down just a few feet away, watching him in dumbfounded silence. It took Jack about ten seconds to get what he asked, but he didn't reply right away. His situation was very obvious, anyway. Plus, he was getting tired, and he was done speaking to those who didn't care. Bunny never did. He turned away.

\- You're fadin'.

Jack wondered absently, what brought the rabbit out of his hole in the ground. He hadn't seen the Easter Bunny for about half-a-century. Why would he suddenly show up now, of all times? He didn't ask. No matter. It's going to be over soon. Just a few minutes.

Bunnimund's heart was racing.

\- I can't believe it. I can't f***ng believe it! Why, Frost? Why the f*** would you?..

Jack looked at him. That one look was enough to silence the rabbit. He saw something in his eyes that froze the blood in his veins. It felt like his heart missed a beat.

Hopelessness. Absence of Hope. The one thing Bunny understood the best. The one thing that could have saved the kid.

The one thing he never considered giving him.

Jack did not say a word. He did not need to. Bunnymund got his thoughts perfectly.

(You killed me)

Aster's legs gave, and he sat down heavily. He couldn't look away, Jack's eyes still locked with his. (Please, no, oh, no, oh, no)

Jack finally looked away. He was becoming more translucent by the minute.

Bunny took a heavy breath, looking the boy over again and again, trying to imprint his image deeply in his mind, like that would help anything. (It wouldn't)

\- What happened, kid? What was it that…

He struggled with words, with the knowledge that this is it. His only and last chance to understand. To fix it. (To ease the crushing, all-consuming guilt)

Jack, feeling much more generous and kind all of a sudden, thought it over. Why not? Won't change a single thing.

\- They don't believe in me. The kids.

He already started feeling light-headed, maybe that's why the words tumbled out of him, bypassing all the filters and defenses in his mind.

\- I love them so much. I play with them every day, to make them laugh. I protect them. Adore them.

Bunny felt decidedly sick to his stomach. (Jack Frost is anything But a guardian)

\- But they never even notice. I played with them for hours today, and they abandoned me at the mere possibility of getting a coin from the Tooth Fairy.

Jack's voice took on a sleepy, dream-like quality.

\- That's a little unfair, don't you think?.. She probably doesn't even know their names. But she doesn't get walked through. She gets their recognition. That's all I ever wanted, you know? For them, to look at me and see me. Just know that I'm there. Just for a minute. All I ever asked him for.

He lifted his gaze to the moon, clearly visible on the black sky.

\- He made me, but never explained. In three centuries, the only thing he told me was my name. "You are Jack Frost". I begged him to answer so many times… Why am I here? What is my purpose?

Big, unstoppable shudders ran through Bunnimund's body, as he looked up to the disk in the sky, which communicated with him only a few hours before, and wondered for the first time if The Man In Moon wasn't as good and kind as he seemed to him. Wondered, maybe Jack frost wasn't the selfish and irresponsible one.

He would never look at the moon with the same awe nor respect again.

He had never felt so cold before.

Jack felt free.

\- I guess, after all this time, I just stopped believing. In good things, then in myself… But it's OK now.

He lifted a hand before his face, a sad one-sided grin on his lips. It was almost gone.

\- By the way, Bunny… I'm sorry about that snowstorm. Wasn't my intention to mess with Easter, just a big mistake, honestly. I always liked you. Who doesn't like a cool six foot tall rabbit-warrior?

He smiled. Bunny couldn't stop the tears any longer.

\- T-thanks, mate. S-sory we didn't… get on.

\- Yea… would have been nice… - Jack whispered. His eyes were closing, and he didn't fight it.

He was less afraid then he thought he would be. Maybe the rabbit didn't come to gloat, after all.

He won't have to die alone.

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When Aster finally went back to the pole, he took the staff with him.


	3. Chapter 3

Bunnimund took the staff with him. He didn't know why. Maybe he wanted to give the boy some kind of send off, maybe he just wanted something solid to show the others. Leaving it on the roof just didn't feel right.

For a change, he didn't pay any mind to the biting cold of North's home base. He completely forgot to notify the yetis about the change of plans. He was too numb and shocked to think. He only knew that he had to inform the others, no matter how impossibly hard is was going to be.

He walked inside on wooden legs and startled the yeti beside the door with his appearance. He must have looked about as well as he felt, because the poor beast all but ran out of the hall, roaring something decidedly panicky. Bunny went to the globe room to wait for the others. He sat down, a first for him. That fact alarmed his friends that something was wrong at first sight. When all the guardians arrived, they surrounded him, but he wouldn't look up. Couldn't face them. Not yet.

\- Bunny, vhat happened? Vhere's Jack? I thought you vanted to bring him in bag? Is it Jack's staff?..

\- What's wrong? Are you O'K? Is Jack fine? Were you attacked? Where does it hurt? Bunny? – Tooth asked in very fast succession, her hands cupping his face, making him look at her.

Bunnimund was almost in physical pain. They had no idea. But soon they will know.

Tooth must have seen something of his thoughts on his face, because suddenly she let him go, 'oh'-ed softly and covered her mouth, eyes wide and fearful. Then North kneeled in front of him, touched his arm with uncharacteristic gentleness.

\- Bunny?

Aster took a deep breath and squared his shoulders.

\- He faded, North. I got there too late.

His voice sounded flat even to his own ears, but Bunny couldn't bring himself to care. He felt empty. Like a failure. He failed. He had no pride to preserve.

Momentarily, silence ruled supreme. Not even Tooth's wings made a sound. But shock wouldn't be contained for long.

\- Vhat?!

\- How?!

Sandy, as quiet as ever, showed exclamation marks above his head, his shining eyes wide and mouth half-open. His expression soon turned mournful, though. He knew better then to assume he misheard. He was acquainted with Jack, after all. The boy had been teetering on the edge for a long time, and finally he took a step forward. Sadly, the sandman couldn't say it surprised him. This upset him, yes, terribly. But didn't surprise. He has been afraid of exactly this for the last few decades, and yet he had been powerless to stop it. Powerless and useless.

\- No. No, no! Not possible! This does not make sense! Bunny, you must be mistaking. He is a boy, almost a child, he could not fade. He is at top power, not weakening!

Bunny shock his head numbly. He wished he had the luxury of denial, but he couldn't afford to let North keep it. Not when it was their fault.

\- That was him, alrigh'. He faded. Nothing left of him but that stick.

\- But it cannot be! Fading is for those who have no place in world anymore! For old spirits without a purpose! Jack is young man. Just few centuries, right?

Sandy, who had collected himself somewhat for the time being, drifted over to North and put a hand on his arm. When the larger man turned to look at him, he shook his head slowly, painfully, not knowing how to express his understanding through his sand only.

Bunny lifted his head and looked to the sky above through the window in the workshop ceiling. His eyes were red-rimmed and shining with the reflected moonlight.

\- Some spirits don't last long enough to get old, North. Some'ah'them disappear when they are not needed anymore. Some fade when they are tired of living. When they… lose hope for better tomorrow. Stop believing in their own existence. It's, essentially, suicide.

North sat down, put his large head in his hands. Tooth wept quietly.

That night, the guardians mourned.

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He was warm. That was the first thing he registered when he woke up. Then came light. It was bright and sweet and everywhere. Jack stood up, but it changed nothing – there was no end to the empty space around him in any direction. He gave himself a once over. Nothing was different, safe for his staff. It was nowhere to be seen.

Suddenly, something changed in the atmosphere, although Jack couldn't put his finger on what, exactly. He tensed, peering at the nothingness ahead.

There was a vague shape of a man walking towards him. He came closer and Jack could make out his clothes – a white robe with beautiful silver constellations embroidered by the hem.

The man was handsome and not very old – in his early thirtieth, Jack guessed. He had a kind, mature face. In his gaze, locked with Jacks own, he saw warm welcome mixed, strangely enough, with remorse and grief.

\- Hello, Jack. I'm so sorry. So, so sorry. I had no idea you needed my help until the very last hour. Would you let me try to fix everything?

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Hi everybody. I know this took eons, there was no inspiration, sorry. We are heading for a happy end, and i'm just no good at them =_=''

Big thank you to those of who reviewed, folowed and favorited this story. This chapter and all the subsequent ones are dedicated to you!

I have no idea when I'll be able to update again, but this story won't be abadoned, so don't loose hope like Jack did, alright? We all know he was wrong.

If anybody could beta this for me, I would be very gratefull! And update more often, more importantly! I'm still no native english speaker. =(


	4. Chapter 4

A small present to those who still reads this thing. Enjoy!

I don't own anything.

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That night, the guardians mourned.

They said their goodbyes to the boy who should have been one of them by giving him a guardian's send off. They lit up many candles and stood together, thinking about him and comforting each other the best they could. Their thoughts were heavy, and that night saw them staying at the pole until morning, sitting in a private living room. They stayed mostly silent. However, in the wee hours of the morning, Tooth broke their stupor by asking:

\- Was it my fault?

The others traded alarmed looks, and Bunny, who was designated to be the spokesperson in their silent conversation, came over to her chair and took her hand in his paws.

\- Why'd you think so, Sheila? – He inquired gently and tried to catch her gaze.

\- He mentioned me, didn't he? When you spoke. Told you that I… took the children's attention away, - she looked very disturbed by the thought, even as she couldn't stop herself from wondering. – I never wanted that. Never. I'd never do something like that, and yet… And he was right. About me, I mean. I don't even deserve the children's love – they never met me! I don't know their names, or their great great grandfathers names, even, though I used to remember them all. I haven't been out in the field for over four centuries, for pity's sake!

\- Tooth, stop it. You don't do any good by self-blame. Also, I doubt he meant exactly as you sink, - said North. His brows were furrowed, eyes thoughtful. He had been going over everything he knew about Jack. Some things made sense, some didn't. There was one truth that was not to be avoided, though. They were all responsible, some just more then others. – I sink the boy's… death is our fault, as a vhole. Ve, all of us, should have spoken to him vhen ve first heard of him. Ve should have found time to visit boy and get to know him. Then, he vould never have… He vould have not been so alone and confused, that…

A heavy pause fell between them. Then Bunnimund raised his head to look out the window, where the moonlight shined gently.

\- There was some'ng wrong about the whole thing. He said, he didn't know what his purpose was. And, when his spoke about how Manny converted 'im (Bunny grimaced, still very disturbed by the MiM's seeming lack of responsibility concerning Jack) he called it his "creation". I don't deny that we hold th' blame for this, but… I think there were other things. Things we don't know about. There's only one man alive who should know more then we do, though. – He came closer to the window and looked at the silver sphere above.

Tooth, North and Sandy exchanged looks.

\- Manny must have his reasons. Ve should ask him, vhen he opens a connection again.

\- If, you mean. If he opens a connection. How many times had he done it this century? Or the two previews? I'll tell you – about twice in total. The first was a century ago about that strange belief collapse, the second just tonight. Does it seem strange to you? – Bunny frowned. Then he had another thought, and his eyebrows jumped up. – Jack told me Manny only ever spoke to him once in three centuries – on the day of his «creation». I thought at first, he mustn't care 'bout the boy, but maybe he did want to contact him, but couldn't? Maybe, somethin's gone wrong with his communication systems?..

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\- Something's gone wrong with the communication systems. I've almost given up on ever contacting Earth again. There were a few short windows of uninterrupted signal, but I had to use them for an emergency every time! That was frustrating for _me_. I can't even imagine what _you _must've gone through, thinking I abandoned you just like that! – the star man, as Jack dubbed him for lack of better term, came closer and took him by the shoulders, looking him over. Then he looked Jack right in the eyes, long and intense. And suddenly, there were his arms, wrapping themselves tightly around Jack's thin body, holding him close to a warm chest. The man shook, Jack suddenly realized, even as his hold on Jack relaxed a little, letting him breath.

\- I'm so sorry, Jack. It was never my intension to leave you alone. Please, believe me.

The man's voice was sad and a little desperate. Jack was still confused, and so it took him a few seconds to understand just who the man claimed to be. His eyes went wide.

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So, a long time without updates again. Sorry, guys! Had to focus on Institute.

Hopefully, this isn't the last update of this you'll see on the holidays. Merry belated (upcoming) Christmas and happy New Year, everybody. =)


	5. Chapter 5

Here's the promised chepter! My exams are over, finaly, yey! =)

Don't own. No money for me, damn. =_=''

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\- Are you… The Man in Moon? – asked Jack breathlessly, stunned by the realization.

\- Yes, Jack. I am. However, I'd prefer it if you called me Manny. It's something of a nickname everyone uses, as my actual name is not very short or easy to remember… I'm rambling, sorry. You have no idea how long it has been since I've spoken to someone face to face…

The Man in Moon, visibly nervous, took a step back to release Jack from his embrace and look him in the eyes again. And what expressive eyes they were, thought Manny, watching Jack's expression change from stunned disbelief to confused hurt. That was the first opportunity he had to look from up close at his chosen one, the cherished child of his hopes. If all goes well, it will be the last, too.

Jack opened his mouth to ask something, anything, one of the endless questions that has plagued him for the last three centuries, but Manny lifted his open palm, asking him silently to wait. Then, he closed his eyes and imagined what they would need.

Jack noticed the space around them start to change, shape into actual surroundings. Out of the white mist appeared first a chair, then another one, a small table in-between, a rug under their feet, walls around them, a ceiling above, windows – one on every wall save one. Out of that wall a mass of white mist bulged, only to take shape of a fireplace.

Slowly, the environment was taking definition and color. The chairs became plush and wooden, the rug – dark red and soft to the touch, the fireplace filled with cracking embers and golden flames, licking at its roof.

They sat down, facing each other, and Manny spoke.

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Pitch attacked the Tooth palace in the morning, and the Guardians didn't have any more time to stop and think until the all teeth had been collected. They gathered in Jamie's bedroom and tried to make light of the situation by showing off their bags of teeth.

\- How're you feeling, Tooth? – asked North, looking her over.

\- Believed in! – she whispered with a smile.

\- Good, - he replied, thinking to himself that one death was quite enough.

Then they got a little carried away with competing and suddenly found themselves under the glare of an electric flashlight.

Jamie was able to see all of them, which reminded them again of the terrible unfairness of last night and the empty space between them that nothing could fill. Sandy already was going to knock Jamie out when he happened to notice the drawings pinned to the wall above his bed. He drifted closer to them and registered the common theme to all of them.

Snow days.

Jamie playing snowballs with his friends, Jamie and the others building a huge snowman, making snow angels, sledding…

Sandy touched the last drawing with gentle reverence, his imagination adding another stick figure to the picture, hoodie colored with blue pencil, staff a little too long to look realistic and a big smile on his face, just like the one Jamie had drawn for himself.

Sandy's shoulders shook.

The others got rid of the dog by throwing it gently out the door and noticed, finally, Sandy's position. Jamie, having long seen the golden guardian's fascination with his drawings, was enthusiastically explaining them to Sandy.

\- This one was last week, we played until dark! It was so cold I couldn't feel my fingers from all the snowballs! And this one, this one was the day before yesterday! We were running from Cupcake, not because we're scared of her, we were just playing, she's really ok. So, we were running, and I had the sled with me, and I fell on it and it started going faster and faster! I was scared at first because the sled was going to hit the street, but then, there was suddenly ice on the asphalt! I swear it kept appearing out of thin air just before the sled! I was sliding so fast, but even though there were cars on the street, somehow, I got through it alright! And then, and then there was this huge ice springboard, see, I drew it here! I jumped so high it was like flying! And then I hit a snowbank. I would've been completely fine if not for the couch, see here? It hit me afterwards. Must've fallen out of a truck…

\- That's what he meant, then, - said Bunny, his eyes pensive and shining a bit too brightly. The other guardians, gathered around Jamie, turned to look at him. – He said, 'I play with them every day'. You're one lucky kid, Jamie, to have had such a protecta'…

\- What do you mean? What protector? – asked Jamie, drawings forgotten in his curiosity. The guardians exchanged looks.

Usually, it was against the unspoken rules of the spirit community, to tell children about the existence of other spirits. It was risky, as the kids could start telling adults and other kids, which can be the start of many a new legend. However, the guardians all agreed on this – Jack Frost deserved to live, even if in children's stories only. And so, they told Jamie a part of the truth.

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Thank's for reading, everyone! Till next time!

Review? =)


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